North American Union To Replace US.
April 2, 2008
This is dern right discustin in my book. Dont we have enuff problems.
Laptop tells all about the Northern Illinois University Shooting
February 17, 2008
A laptop cumputer seized from a DeKalb motel `n` believed ta be connected ta Thursday’s didly shootin at Northern Illinois University had no hard drive, federal officials said Saturday.
Police confiscated a laptop cumputer from a room at dis DeKalb, Illinois, motel, its manager said.
DeKalb Travelodge manager Jay Patel said police confiscated a Toshiba laptop cumputer from Room 105.
Steven Kazmierczak, 27, killed five students `n` himself Thursday in a lecture hall on da university campus in DeKalb, west of Chicago.
The motive behind da shootin spree remains unknown. Video Watch a profile of da victims »
As da university mourns, school officials on Saturday announced classes will resume February 25.
A memorial service fer da victims is scheduled ta tekk place da day b4, university spokeswoman Melanie Magara said.
Faculty `n` staff will return ta work Tuesday `n` will receive trainin on how ta help students when classes resume, Magara said.
On Friday, a bomb squad swept da Travelodge room wher da laptop was found fer explosives, a source close ta da investigation said.
A DeKalb police source said a duffel bag wif shotgun ammunition `n` regular ammunition was found in da room `n` confiscated. No note was found, da source said.
New NFL playoff structure?
February 8, 2008
A small bit of news about da possibility of shakin up da NFL playoffs was buried, somewhut ironically, by da awesomeness of da playoffs emselves. Ta me, dat suggests dat da playoffs don’t need changed, but whut da hell, I’m open ta new ideas.
Roger Goodell wants ta make it so dat in da farst round of da playoffs, division winners wouldn’t automatically have a home game. If`n they played a wildcard team dat had a better record, da wild card team would git da game in their own crib.
The idea is dat it gives teams mow incentive ta play hard throughout da end of da regular season, so we don’t end up seeing somethang lik a Charlie Batch vs. Jim Sorgi matchup in Week 17.
For example, dis year, da Bucs couldn’t have sat on their hands in weeks 16 `n` 17, knowing they had their division sewn up. If`n they wanted ta play a home game in da farst round, they’d have had ta tekk da field in Week 17 wif a line-up a wif a li`l mow farpower than was brung ta da table by Luke McCown, Michael Bennett, `n` Chad Lucas.
I’m not opposed ta dis idea, necessarily. It makes perfect sense, `n` a team wif a better record probably deserves a home game.
However, if`n it was put ta a vote, I’d vote no, `n` cheer’s why: If`n yonder’s a coach out yonder who saw da Colts `n` Bucs tank da end of dis season, `n` saw da Giants put forth a gargantuan effort wif \uttin ta play fer in Week 17, `n` then saw whut happened in da playoffs, `n` dat coach is still dumb enough ta be lettin his players collect rust over da last two weeks of da season, then I’m opposed ta da league stepping in `n` savin dis coach from his own idiocy.
If dis year’s postseason didn’t hammer home da “tankin is bad” message fer a coach, then he deserves a savage beatdown in da playoffs next year.
Dog the Bounty Hunters Brother Tim Arrested!
January 8, 2008
Well heres more bad news for the Chapman Family. It seem Dog the Bounty Hunter’s brother Tim Chapman was caught with his pants down Thursday evening but is swears the incident as a misunderstanding.
Tim Chapman was arrested and charged Friday with first-degree terroristic threatening and may also be charged with indecent exposure, Jim Fulton, spokesman for Honolulu’s prosecutor’s office, told the Honolulu Star Bulletin in a Saturday report.
Police claim Ala Moana Center security guards responded to a Thursday night report of a man fondling himself in a vehicle in the shopping center’s parking lot, according to the Star Bulletin, and recognized the 42-year-old co-star of A&E’s Dog the Bounty Hunter reality series as they approached.
When the security guards requested Chapman exit the truck, he reportedly hopped behind the wheel, jumped a curb onto the sidewalk and drove towards a security guard before leaving the scene.
Chapman subsequently turned himself on Friday and was initially arrested on suspicion of second-degree attempted murder and indecent exposure, according to the Star Bulletin.
However he was instead charged with first-degree terroristic threatening, which the Star Bulletin reported is a a Class C felony punishable by up to five years in prison. In addition if he is charged with indecent exposure — a petty misdemeanor — he could reportedly face a maximum 30-day sentence. He was released on $11,000 bail.
What else can these fellers go through, I don’t understand it, hes married to a beautiful hawaiian lady, Hes a good role model. I just hope the pressures of not having the TV show is getting to those guys. I loved watching the show and listened to the conversation. I think if I was Dog, I would find that PUNK ASS Son of mine and beat him with a garden hose. How can you do that to your own father. Hell maybe Leland needs to go whoop his ass. I listened to the tape and I don’t think he did anything wrong.How many of us had said things in the privacy of our home that we wouldn’t say in public. Hell, Look how many time he has helped the “black race” He has done plenty for everyone.
Damn Britney Spears: Lost her kids.
January 5, 2008
Now I used to love this little love kitten but what the heck happen to her, She went off and married that dang back up dancer and her life and career has gone down the shitter. Now she has lost her youngins to this idiot because she cnt keep herself out or rehab. Its a shame to see these girls get a little bit of money and destroy theirselfs and their families.
Britney Spears was derailed yet again in her struggle ta git her life back on track, losing custody of her two sons ta ex-husband Kevin Federline.
Spears appeard conscious as she was taken from her home.
A court commissioner Friday gave sole physical `n` legal custody of da former couple’s two li`l boys ta Federline `n` suspended da troubled pop star’s visitation rats.
Spears was hauled away from her home ta a hospital by paramedics a day b4, after police had ta intervene when she refuset ta return da children ta Federline after a court-monitored visit.
Commissioner Scott Gordon ordered anutter hearin January 14.
Federline had previously been awarded temporary custody of 2-year-old Sean Preston `n` 1-year-old Jayden James because Spears has defied court orders, resultin in limitations on her visitation.
“I’m not tickeled pink about any of dese events” Federline attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan said when he left a closed-door emergency hearin Friday afternoon. “There’s no winners cheer.”
We cant wait to see how her damn gum sister Jamie Lynn does with a role model like this!
New Year’s Resolution - Whats Yours?
December 31, 2007
Here at Redneck Reality Check we have came up with our top ten Redneck Resolutions.
10 - Try to get chewing tabacki 2 fer 1
9 - Remember to roll the winders up when we go mudden
8 - Dont swallow the gas when you siphon it from yer lawn mower to put into yer truck.
7 - Go to the DMV to transfer the title and tags fer your new home.
6 - Try to give your girlfriend more pet names than your hunting dog.
5 - Wash yer bed sheets instead of vaccuuming them.
4 - Try to shine up them hubcab windchimes.
3 - Remember that a tube top and cut off shorts isnt considered formalwear.
2 - Repair the gun rack that is on your John Deere Lawn Mower
And our number one Redneck Resolution is
1 - Trying to get the taxidermist paid up and get the lay-away paid off fer yer new tattoo
If ya’ll have any other Redneck Resolutions Please email them to us and we will add them to the list.
Thanks Ya’ll Happy New Year.
Wal-Mart sells an MP3 Player with Porn?
December 31, 2007
Here’s this feller that got his 10 yr old daughter a MP3 player from wally world. I reckon it was returned with some of them naught pictures on them. Daryl Hill bought three of the players as Christmas presents for his children. He said one of these here MP3 Players had apparently been returned to the store from a previous owner who loaded sex clips and songs with lyrics about using drugs.
A company spokesman said in an e-mail to WSMV-TV of Nashville that stores are not supposed to return opened packages to the sales floor and that the matter was under investigation.
Hill said he declined Wal-Mart’s offer to replace the MP3 player. He said he has already bought his daughter a new one and is hanging onto the controversial one until he talks to a lawyer.
Imagine that, this feller is going to try and sue Wal-Mart for this. Hey Daryl, Redneck Reality Check. Have you never taken anything back to wally world, People make mistakes their big guy. The people they have working in the stores are your every day high school kids. I think now your acting like a dang gum MORAN, Are you seriously going to try ans sue the biggest retail store in the nation. Boy I tell ya, it tickles my pickle when I hear of people suing over the dumbest things. What does he think he is going to get, 1.5 million. Don’t get us wrong, we agree your daughter shouldn’t of had to seen that, but dang, lets not go over board. You mine as well sue, Wal-mart, The MP3 company (for not having a rating thing a ma bob), then go after the adult clips people, Hell why not just find the feller who put the stuff on their and give him a good ole TN whoopin. Hell while your at it, go stop by McDonalds and tell them there big mac wasn’t so big, I heard they pay well.
GET OVER IT Daryl. Your not going to get nothing when ya sue, except embarrassment. And that’s your Redneck Reality Check.
Britney Spears’ 16 yr old sister Jamie Lynn, Pregnant?
December 19, 2007
Well imagine that, 16 year old Zoey Pregnant. What can be said, I guess she might be taken after her older sister a little to much. Jamie Lynn Spears, told OK! magazine that she’s pregnant and that the father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge. Now I would like to say that this a big shocker, But I cant.
Redneck Reality Check - SHE IS BRITNEY’S SISTER . I just find it crazy that this little gal had it all, She had a booming Nickelodeon show, Zoey 101, She was doing great, but guess all seeing all them sister videos and watching her sister go in and out of rehab must have taken their toll on the little one. I just hope she don’t take parenting lesson from her big sis.
“Only one of my friends knew because I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone’s opinion affect my decision. Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me,” she said. I reckon she broke the news to her mother, Lynne, just before Thanksgiving, the magazine reported.”She was very upset because it wasn’t what she expected at all,” Jamie Lynn said. “A week after, she had time to cope with it and became very supportive.” The one part that gets us is she told the associated press about having a steady feller in her life, “I kind of just keep my options open,” Well sweetie, that’s not the only thing you keep open.
Didn’t you learn anything from yer dang gum Sister when it comes to having youngins, Please do not follow in her footsteps with any other decisions, We beg you.
I am Legend opens today. Redneck Reality Check
December 14, 2007
Will Smith must be in heaven, With all them big ole Buck Deer running around there, Now thats a Rednecks Paradise, I remember in school when all the girls you used to say, “Not if you were the last guy on earth” Well here the Fresh Prince is the last one one earth, well at least in NYC.
Smith is Robert Neville. The cover of Time on his fridge door pictures a “Soldier. Scientist. Savior?” but that hanging question mark is well chosen, and we divine that his immunity is pure chance.
He’s not quite alone. Neville patrols Fifth Avenue in his Mustang with Sam, a German Shepherd (also immune to the airborne virus), broadcasting into the void, then returning home to his Washington Square townhouse to put up the shutters before nightfall.
That’s when the “Dark Seekers” venture out: feral, contaminated people with a rabid appetite for flesh but no pupil dilation reflex to protect them against sunlight.
Now I don’t know about ya’ll But if I was the last man in NYC, I wouldn’t be running around in no little girly mustang, I would have myself a big ole ford duely so if one of them critters get in my way I wont have to worry bout shootin them, I would just run their little running asses over. That’s what make TV so much different than real life, He is driving a car, He did steal anything, and he has a goofy little gun he is going to try to protect him and his cute little puppy with.