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New Year’s Resolution - Whats Yours?

Here at Redneck Reality Check we have came up with our top ten Redneck Resolutions.

10 - Try to get chewing tabacki 2 fer 1

9 - Remember to roll the winders up when we go mudden

8 - Dont swallow the gas when you siphon it from yer lawn mower to put into yer truck.

7 - Go to the DMV to transfer the title and tags fer your new home.

6 - Try to give your girlfriend more pet names than your hunting dog.

5 - Wash yer bed sheets instead of vaccuuming them.

4 - Try to shine up them hubcab windchimes.

3 - Remember that a tube top and cut off shorts isnt considered formalwear.

2 - Repair the gun rack that is on your John Deere Lawn Mower

And our number one Redneck Resolution is

1 - Trying to get the taxidermist paid up and get the lay-away paid off fer yer new tattoo

If ya’ll have any other Redneck Resolutions Please email them to us and we will add them to the list.

Thanks Ya’ll Happy New Year.

Wal-Mart sells an MP3 Player with Porn?

Here’s this feller that got his 10 yr old daughter a MP3 player from wally world. I reckon it was returned with some of them naught pictures on them. Daryl Hill bought three of the players as Christmas presents for his children. He said one of these here  MP3 Players had apparently been returned to the store from a previous owner who loaded sex clips and songs with lyrics about using drugs.

A company spokesman said in an e-mail to WSMV-TV of Nashville that stores are not supposed to return opened packages to the sales floor and that the matter was under investigation.

Hill said he declined Wal-Mart’s offer to replace the MP3 player. He said he has already bought his daughter a new one and is hanging onto the controversial one until he talks to a lawyer.

Imagine that, this feller is going to try and sue Wal-Mart for this. Hey Daryl, Redneck Reality Check. Have you never taken anything back to wally world, People make mistakes their big guy. The people they have working in the stores are your every day high school kids. I think now your acting like a dang gum MORAN, Are you seriously going to try ans sue the biggest retail store in the nation. Boy I tell ya, it tickles my pickle when I hear of people suing over the dumbest things. What does he think he is going to get, 1.5 million. Don’t get us wrong, we agree your daughter shouldn’t of had to seen that, but dang, lets not go over board. You mine as well sue, Wal-mart, The MP3 company (for not having a rating thing a ma bob), then go after the adult clips people, Hell why not just find the feller who put the stuff on their and give him a good ole TN whoopin. Hell while your at it, go stop by McDonalds and tell them there big mac wasn’t so big, I heard they pay well.

GET OVER IT Daryl. Your not going to get nothing when ya sue, except embarrassment. And that’s your Redneck Reality Check.

Girls Hunting - Redneck Reality Check

Ok, We just had to make note of this one. This little article comes from that feller over ther at the OKOutdoorman Site

This feller done went off and let his little lady go to the shootin range to “plink” with a damn gum 22. ARE YA CRAZY. havent you ever watched them flicker shows on how the women are always going after us fellers. How perfect would that be, “Here we are up in a deer stand, Got my chewing backey in, Wind is just right. Here comes the pretties looking buck we have seen in days. She pulls up, and BANG, you got some buck shot in your rumper”, I couldnt take my ole lady hunting. Unless it was that Sweet looking hunter philly Cindy Garrison, Now she can hold my 22 anytime.

Well He tells it better, Heres an insert of this Fellers “Girl Hunting” thing.

“My wife doesn’t hunt. She enjoys going to the range with me and doing some plinking with the 22 every now and then, but she never really picked up the fever of the hunt. So, I was surprised the day my daughter asked me if she could go out with me and my son one day.

You don’t typically associate hunting with women. But women hunters have been around since the beginning. Today they are more common than most people realize. They have their own websites and TV shows. They write articles for major magazines on hunting and even have their own TV shows. The most famous of course being Cindy Garrison.”

You need to stop over and read the rest of it, this story gets alot better. Plus This feller has a bunch of good Redneck tips.

The Best Christmas Movies Ever

Well here is another Christmas holiday and we all are wonderin whut the best dern Chistmas flick is. Well we here at Redneck Reality Check put together a list of our favorites and heres the top10

1. A Christmas Story - Who dont love this movie about nine-year-old Ralphie, who desperately wants a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas
2. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer - This is the classic stop-motion animation Christmas special. Featuring Rudolph, an Elf who wants to be a dentist, the isle of misfits and an Abominable Snowman
3. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation - What can be said about this one, Clark Griswald and the family have done it again in this hilarious comedy about your average man during the Holiday season with his family, and then theres Eddie
4. Frosty the Snowman - Yet another Classic of a living snowman and a little girl struggle to elude a greedy magician who is after the snowman’s magic hat.
5. Home Alone - One the whole family can enjoy about an eight year-old, who is accidentally left behind while his family flies to France for Christmas, has to defend his home against idiotic burglars.
6. It’s a Wonderful Life
7. A Charlie Brown Christmas
8. Polar Express
9. Miracle on 34th Street
10. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

These are all great films that shouldnt be missed during the Christmas season, I know I cant go a year without getting all of them in, Theres nuttin like coming in from a long day in the woods not seeing no deer and grabbin some hot cocoa and sitting in front of the teley with the family to watch us some classics.

Happy Holidays Ya’ll

Britney Spears’ 16 yr old sister Jamie Lynn, Pregnant?

Well imagine that, 16 year old Zoey Pregnant. What can be said, I guess she might be taken after her older sister a little to much. Jamie Lynn Spears, told OK! magazine that she’s pregnant and that the father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge. Now I would like to say that this a big shocker, But I cant.

Redneck Reality Check - SHE IS BRITNEY’S SISTER . I just find it crazy that this little gal had it all, She had a booming Nickelodeon show, Zoey 101, She was doing great, but guess all seeing all them sister videos and watching her sister go in and out of rehab must have taken their toll on the little one. I just hope she don’t take parenting lesson from her big sis.

“Only one of my friends knew because I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone’s opinion affect my decision. Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me,” she said. I reckon she broke the news to her mother, Lynne, just before Thanksgiving, the magazine reported.”She was very upset because it wasn’t what she expected at all,” Jamie Lynn said. “A week after, she had time to cope with it and became very supportive.” The one part that gets us is she told the associated press about having a steady feller in her life, “I kind of just keep my options open,” Well sweetie, that’s not the only thing you keep open.

Didn’t you learn anything from yer dang gum Sister when it comes to having youngins, Please do not follow in her footsteps with any other decisions, We beg you.

Jessica Simpson, Bad Luck Charm for Tony Romo

Well here we have this fine little philly, But I guess her good looks are all that mattered at Sundays games when the Dallas Cowboys lost bad to the Philadelphia Eagles. Sexy ole Jessica was sporting Romos number 9 pink jersey, Well that didn’t seem to help Romos game much Because the Cowboys got beat 10-6.

But heck Ya’ll, can ya blame Romo fer always wanting to look up and this fine little lady, I mean I probably wouldn’t have even showed up at the game if I had a chance to lay in the bed with this hot little number. But thats a dern shame that she messes with the little youngins with her sex appeal. I think Romo shoulda left the frisky feline at the house. I guarantee that the eagles were glad she came, One just to take a gander at her and Two, she might have been the bad luck charm that made the cowboys lose. Good thing she didn’t come into the locker room after words, cuz she mighta seen more than she can handle, It would have been hotter than 98 Degrees in there, Excuse the pun.

Well Tony, We don’t blame you here at Redneck Reality Check, I just wish I woulda watched the game live. Any chance of getting ya’ll to come to the redneck games, I am sure she wont be bad luck there. Well better luck the next game Tony, Hang in there, and maybe don’t let the little sexy gal spend the night no more before a big game.

Roger Clemens taking steroids?

Dang, Now anyone will sell you out for a little bit of money. Brian McNamee, Clemes personal trainer done did a tattelin act saying Clemens took steroids and HGH. I bet he wouldnt have said anything if there wasnt a dollar bill being passed in front of his eyes. This kind of thing really gets my jiggers biting. How can you call yer self a friend and be a tattle tale all in one. I know if that little S.O.B. would have said something about me I would have ran him over in my Big Duely Ford.

So is Clemens casts Clemens under the same harsh light as Barry Bonds: an all-time great who wanted more. His reputation is in tatters. We need to hear from him immediately, not his attorney.

Soon the Hall of Fame is going to need an out-building for all the great players who forfeited what would have been automatic enshrinement: Joe Jackson, Pete Rose, Rafael Palmeiro, Mark McGwire, Clemens, Bonds. … The lineup is growing into one that could take on the best one that’s actually in Cooperstown.

What’s the most important lesson here?

That it dont pay to have stupid ass friends who will sell you out for a dollar, Just ask Dog the Bounty Hunter, his own son did it.

I am Legend opens today. Redneck Reality Check

Will Smith must be in heaven, With all them big ole Buck Deer running around there, Now thats a Rednecks Paradise, I remember in school when all the girls you used to say, “Not if you were the last guy on earth” Well here the Fresh Prince is the last one one earth, well at least in NYC.

Smith is Robert Neville. The cover of Time on his fridge door pictures a “Soldier. Scientist. Savior?” but that hanging question mark is well chosen, and we divine that his immunity is pure chance.

He’s not quite alone. Neville patrols Fifth Avenue in his Mustang with Sam, a German Shepherd (also immune to the airborne virus), broadcasting into the void, then returning home to his Washington Square townhouse to put up the shutters before nightfall.

That’s when the “Dark Seekers” venture out: feral, contaminated people with a rabid appetite for flesh but no pupil dilation reflex to protect them against sunlight.

Now I don’t know about ya’ll But if I was the last man in NYC, I wouldn’t be running around in no little girly mustang, I would have myself a big ole ford duely so if one of them critters get in my way I wont have to worry bout shootin them, I would just run their little running asses over. That’s what make TV so much different than real life, He is driving a car, He did steal anything, and he has a goofy little gun he is going to try to protect him and his cute little puppy with.

Jodie Foster Gay? Redneck Reality Check

Well if this is the “Silence if the Lambs” coming out of the closet. Jodie Foster, 45, Came out and thanked her gay lover Cydney Bernard at an awards ceremony, Saying she has been there most of her life. With her sons growing up now she must feel she can come out with it that she luvs the ladies.

Jodie Foster kept mum about her sexuality, never once discussing her long rumoured partner Cydney Bernard and, true to form, keeping it vague when it comes to her kids. However, each child’s middle name is Bernard.

Now I dont know about ya’ll but it doesnt bother me a bit, Who wouldnt wanna see the Oscar winner having a little fun time with another hot little gal. I have always enjoyed Jodie Fosters movies and just hope she comes out with a movie that we see her giving a little luv to her gal friend. Foster has done some awsome movies in the past from, The Accused, to the sensational Silence of the Lambs, with Anthony Hopkins.

So Ms. Foster go ahead and come out of the closet, Fellers like us wont mind, that you havent been on a date with a man for 14 years either, we will just be angry that ya didnt give us redneck our chance before ya made yer mind up with that lucky gal.

5 Year yungin shoots Bear

Ok, Now I aint no stranger to bear hunting, As a matter of fact, I have shot me a couple a bears. But I aint never thought I would see a 5 year old man kill a bear. Thats right, I called him a man. More of a man then some of these liberal Californian folks. So Tre goes out hunting with his grandpappy and shoot this pig of a bear. From what Mike says (The boys grandpa) the bear was 40 - 50 yards out when they spotted it and Mike gave a whistle. For those of you that dont spend a lot of time with mother nature, That whistle is a great way to stop your game from running off.

Thats when the man himself Tre squeezed the trigger and Bam! He